A beginner’s guide to anal sex

It’s not as much of a taboo topic as it once was. It’s been popping into all sorts of main stream television shows and movies for quite some time now, one of many ladies’ favourite I am sure would have to be Bridge Jones.
Now I am not going to go in to the debate "for or against" anal sex apart from to say it’s not for everyone, however it will more than likely end up not for you if you rush right in, so to speak. So that said if you are thinking about anal sex but don’t know where to begin (no pun intended) this is a good place to start.
Let me start with the number one question I get about it Does it hurt?
Well that depends on what and how you do it. Anal sex is not just intercourse it can be simple caressing or licking using toys like small anal beads (or larger ones if you prefer). So obviously the likelihood of any pain goes with the type of anal play you are doing. To reduce any pain there are a few things you should do, the first and most obvious I hope, is sex lube and lots of it. Just as important is to be relaxed the more you relax the more enjoyable it can be. Position is also important I’ll cover that a little later.
A little statistical information at this point in case you were wondering;about one third (or more depending on the stats you chose to use) of western couples both gay and straight are reported to enjoy the pleasure of anal sex.

Right so what to do first if you want to start enjoying anal sex

I recommend you get relaxed try a nice warm bubble bath with your lover (or shower). Then make sure you get your partner really warmed up with foreplay. It’s just like normal sex its best with a really erotically aroused lover.
If you are really concerned about pain or nervous you should try starting out with just fingers or small anal sex toys like beads or a butt plug. Use plenty of sex lube you can even get special anal lube that helps to desensitize, however, I find the plain water based lubes to be all I need and they have the plus of being less sticky than the anal products tend to be. If you are going to use a toy make sure it’s one that will not get lost "in there". Small or short toys really need to have a flat flared base to stop them going in too far.

Right, you are ready to try it for the first time, make sure you are completely relaxed. If you are using a toy or finger try gently inserting just the tip and once you are just past the sphincter mussel try a gentile circular movement this feels very enjoyable for those that enjoy sphincter mussel stimulation.
From here you can try going further in just remember to relax and go slow. After you are used to the feeling, a good tip for playing with anal beads and butt plug is to try having vaginal sex while also using anal toys. This is great for both men and women. You can try moving the plug or beads around during intercourse. A common favourite of many people is removing the toys as you cum. It is often reported this is the best feeling for anal play lovers.
Once you have gotten a good start to anal sex play with the smaller toys like this you can then start experimenting with other methods and perhaps large toys or ones that vibrates. Starting with toys will often make it that much easier to transition to the real thing.
Once you are ready to try the real thing the same rules apply lots of sex lube and go slow until you find what you like. The real difference I find is that with the real thing you are a little more limited to get into a comfortable position.

Now that of course leads us nicely into the basic positions anal sex positions.

Missionary (missed name of course) – this is good beginner position as it allows the easy relaxation of the anus thus allowing for easy penetration.

Classic Doggie Style – both people on all fours. Don’t be fooled while this may seem like a great anal sex position it’s not the best for the beginner. First it’s not that comfortable and secondly you tend to tighten up in this position.

Advanced Doggie Style – one person on all floors and the other standing with leg spread out. This produces more of a downward entry. Again this one really is not for the beginner.

Sitting on top – Don’t be fooled this may seem like the ideal position however it’s not. Despite the fact it can give you a lot of control over speed depth etc it causes tightening involuntarily this makes penetration not that easy or pain free.

Spooning or Spoon and Doggie – A good choice for the beginner this is where either both lay on their sides’ or one on the side and the other is doing a more doggie style position. This is great for the beginner as it allows you to relax and give your partner easier access.

The key to anal sex for the beginner is to let the person being penetrated control the speed and depth. While the partner also stimulates other areas of their body at the same time making it part of the complete sexual experience.

It’s worth pointing out at this stage if your partner is a women she may enjoy having an orgasm before you start anal sex at least at first. So why not give oral sex ago first and make sure she is fully turned on before you begin your anal play.

Now that you are ready to use the real thing remember to use lots of sex lube. It’s a really good idea to stroke and fondle you lover while begin to penetrate (SLOWLY). This is normally the most difficult and if there is going to be any pain it is normally now when the penis’s head is inserted it is normal for beginners to tense up which of course will increase the likelihood of discomfort (remember to relax as much as possible).
Slowly moving your penis gently back and forth until your partner is relax enough to let you go deeper in or try letting them control this movement if the position you have selected allows for it. Once your partner is comfortable with this you can begin gentile thrusting being very careful not to thrust to deep at first. Now that you have the basics down you should try varying the rhythm and depth experiment with what turns you and your lover on the best.
Another point that is worth noting is that is possible for women to have an orgasm via anal sex and if it does happen is often reported as an all over very intensive and fulfilling orgasm however if it does not happen that way you should consider giving her a good old fashion orgasm via oral sex fingering or other methods.